The Food Detective (2014)
“Not pleasant for the poor old body, which was in a miserable state. The hips and shoulders were the worst, bruises with colouring so dense and subtle it would have been wonderful on a scarf or top. The knees. Hmm. It looked like a trousers day today. And tomorrow. And the foreseeable future.
Stiff wasn’t the word. Overnight, despite the daily stretches I always did my best with, I’d turned into a crippled old lady. I heaved myself upright and headed for the bathroom, catching sight of mysel...f in the mirrors on the wardrobe. Hell! What on earth did I look like! Neanderthal woman! Reduce me to this sort of shuffle, would they? Not bloody likely. Or any other sort of rather more colourful likely. No, not so much as a wince or a sigh would I permit myself. A lot of swear words under my breath, and maybe a few scorchers out loud in private. But nothing to give the game away to bystanders interested or otherwise.
So it was back on to the floor for stretches, which were hell.MoreLess
Stiff wasn’t the word. Overnight, despite the daily stretches I always did my best with, I’d turned into a crippled old lady. I heaved myself upright and headed for the bathroom, catching sight of mysel...f in the mirrors on the wardrobe. Hell! What on earth did I look like! Neanderthal woman! Reduce me to this sort of shuffle, would they? Not bloody likely. Or any other sort of rather more colourful likely. No, not so much as a wince or a sigh would I permit myself. A lot of swear words under my breath, and maybe a few scorchers out loud in private. But nothing to give the game away to bystanders interested or otherwise.
So it was back on to the floor for stretches, which were hell.MoreLess
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