Breakdown (Crash Into Me)
“I wasn’t going to pretend that William’s sense of responsibility towards me wasn’t comforting, didn’t make me feel better in a way I didn’t think I ever had. Similarly, the idea of him—or anyone else—feeling a sense of obligation towards me made me nauseous. I enjoyed spending time with William, but I didn’t want him to do it if he had no real desire to do so, if he secretly disliked me and felt only pity for me. Was that why he was so insistent on me talking to someone? Was he trying to pawn m...e off on another do-gooder just so he didn’t have to put up with me anymore? That alone was reason enough for me to not keep the promise I made, to put off looking for therapists that took my insurance. After all, what if I told William I found a counselor I could identify with, or a hotline that wouldn’t show up on the phone bill? Would he consider his job done and toss me aside for his next charity project?I shuddered at the thought and tried to put it out of my mind with more shows from the Speed channel.Then again, my desire to die had decreased in the last two weeks, an inclination that I couldn’t deny had been because of William and racing.MoreLess
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